The Official Writing Challenge
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03/15/13
Thanks for reminding me about loving the unloveable.

Your devotional had a good message. It would have been even better if you would have more dialogue showing, instead of telling about the experience with the older gentlemen.
03/17/13
Good message in this timely reminder and devotional.

God bless~
"Make Me A Blessing" - one of my most favorite hymns. It awakens my heart for His work. Rest and nursing home visitors indeed share the blessings. Loneliness and confusion lodge within too many hearts, and the more we can share God's love and truth about Jesus, the more the blessings do flow. Thank you.
Good job. Good reminder that we must all step out of our comfort zone and minister to others. Keep writing devotionals. You have a knack for it!
03/18/13
Very good devotional. Perhaps a little more about how the little man came to know The Lord. What finally penetrated his hard heart. Good use of scripture.
03/18/13
A lovely story, heartfelt and sincere. The elderly are such treasures, if we only to the time to treasure them. Thank you for sharing. Good Job
03/18/13
Devotionals can be tough, but you've got the basic concept down. I would only suggest that you give a little more action and dialogue to grab the reader further. You chose a very good theme for this devotional. It is something that we all must remember. Great first try!
I guess I would have to lovingly disagree with some of my fellow commenter's, a devotional piece is the one type of writing where one typically doesn't do much "Showing." It is mostly, if not all telling and scripture verses. The scripture verses plus the Holy Spirit do the telling. "Our Daily Bread," one of the most famous devotionals around is a telling-devotional. So is "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. My very favorite devotional mixes poetry with commentary and scripture -- L. B. Cowman's "Streams in the Desert." Sometimes there is some dialogue there, but not much. I thought this was a fantastic devotional. I don't think you even needed the part about you and your mom at the beginning. I was a tad confused about whether the old man had already been saved and the hymn just reminded him of his relationship with Jesus, or the hymn singing sparked a new found relationship with Christ. Other than that clarifying factor, I thought this was excellent. I am eager to hear more of your writings. Blessings.
Sorry, I got so lost in talking about what a devotional- type -format was that I didn't tell you what a wonderful and necessary message this imparted and the words to the hymn was the perfect way to end your piece. Volunteering in a nursing home's is such a needed ministry. Before some health issues got the better of me I so enjoyed doing that. Keep up your writing.
03/19/13
You have woven a good message into this piece of writing. Perhaps a little more detail about the turn-around in the 'sharp' man would have been good. But, overall, you've done well.
This is a great devotion. I like how you started out with a real life experience that many can relate to. Your transition to the message was great too.

The only suggestions I might offer would be to end with a prayer. Also, you may have done this, but before you quote any lyrics make sure they are in the public domain. Many of the older hymns are, but I'm not familiar with the one you used.

I think you did a nice job of summing up your message. I think if you polish this sum, and follow the writer's guidelines it would be perfect for a devotional magazine like The Upper Room (Except instead of asking the you questions, I would put it under the Thought for the Day part like this: how can I step out of my comfort zone today and be a blessing to others?) If you do a search, The Upper Room has its guidelines and submission directions on their website. Congratulations on ranking 13th in level one!
I try not to read other comments so as to not influence my opinion. I do know what some are saying and if you do ever decide to polish it and need some advice on it, feel free to PM. Again good job.