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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Sharp (03/07/13)
I stumble down the road.
all I tried has failed.
My anger scream's relentless
morning it's sad tale.

Is seem no matter where I go.
I can't get a break.
I've tries so many different things
I don't know what it takes.

I hide in all my sinfulness
my body is so weak.
I will stop this, I insist!
failing as I speak.

I sit down in a quiet spot
to try to hear God's voice.
I looked for Him everywhere.
but I could not rejoice.

I call out from my hiding place
maybe He was near.
But all I got is echoing
I don't think He could hear.

I feel so low I can't get up
the weight I cannot bear.
A sharp clash of lightening
announced that He's there.

In fear I stand before Him
He said He understands.
The sin that plagues my life
plagues my fellow man.

He reaches down and touched me
His strength floods my soul.
The sin so long inside me
is gone and I am whole.
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This article has been read 837 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
03/14/13
So touching,and so beautiful. God bless~
Linda Berg
03/17/13
Beautiful expression of our struggle with sin but the redemption that can be ours.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/20/13
This is such a powerful piece. I can so totally relate to the MC. Some times I find myself trodding down that dark and dangerous road.

I think I noticed a few tiny typos like should it be its mourning instead of its morning? And it seems instead of is scream. A proofreader would help you catch tiny things like that.

Overall, I think you did a lovely job. The pain in the beginning oozed off of the page until Jesus finds it and scoops it in his hand, releasing so many burdens through the power of his nail-hole hands. Beautiful
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/20/13
I'm sorry my vision is getting all blurry on me and I meant to say is seem, not scream, but it does show how easy it is to allow a typo to get past one. Keep writing those hauntingly beautiful words,
Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark
03/21/13
I can wrap my heart around this . . .
Edmond Ng
03/21/13
A nicely written poem that speaks to the heart. It is always the case when we are in trouble that we feel God is afar, but the truth is far from what we believe. I like the last stanza very very much.