Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Tie (02/28/13)
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TITLE: Barbie and Ken's Marriage | Previous Challenge Entry
By Emily Ritter
03/07/13 -
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Ash blond hair matted to the side
His six foot muscular frame is hinged at the waist
Bent over a computer desk
Squinting at youtube’s “How to tie a tie”
Blue screen-glow tints his pale grimace in the darkness
He plucks repeat
Loosens a lopsided knot with his fingers
I stand in a doorway with starched pink polka dotted ruffles at my knee caps
Smush a bare shoulder against a screen
Numb my skin with freckled indentation
And count the seconds with high heel clicks on wood floor
Only Barbie knows that Ken needs the internet to help him dress himself
But only Ken knows that Barbie doesn’t brush her teeth until noon
Their marriage tints their view of life
To them, everyone looks like a friend who keeps secrets
And is willing to walk barefooted for miles
With no maps and just one pair of sunglasses to share
Ken apologizes for watching the video four times and being so late
But Barbie closes her eyes and breathes in sour sweat, musk and spring air
The moment becomes plastic
Durable and unaging
She wants to always be married to this gorgeous man
To always be his ditsy helpmate
Who also can’t tie ties
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This seemed to read more like prose than a poem, and I think you would have been fine using regular paragraphs.
Nice job on this. Cute!