The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Oh, this is good. There are some great analogies here.

I feel like since you had the room that you could have expanded this a bit, but it's fine the way it is too.

I loved the ending. Nice job.
"Wondrously, what had been a burning collar was now a delicate necklace."

You packed a lot into this. Good job.
This is just beautiful. I look very much forward to more of your writing.
I enjoyed this story. You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. I could really relate to the MC. This piece has a nice fresh feel to it. Good job.
I loved this writing! The only thing that puzzled me was you had a line that said, "not quite silent but stifled enough to be ignored." that I couldn't seem to wrap my brain around. But the word pictures with the boulder and you being choked by your own guilt is exactly how i feel sometimes in a similar situation where I know I have wronged someone. Thank God we have His grace, mercy and love and we can always have offer an apology in our hearts even if we can't in person for whatever reason. I loved the fact that when your MC read God's word, that was his treasure trove and turned his boulder of burden into a necklace that was priceless. Thank you for this very transparent and heart felt piece.
Congratulations on ranking 7th in level one!