The Official Writing Challenge
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I loved your description of the rain coming down in buckets and the night sky flashing with lightning making it appear as day. But the two things I liked the most about this story were the transparency of the MC all the way through the piece, letting us in on his inner most thoughts. He had hurt and frustration over a family situation but in the end his heart was submissive to the Lord; soft and tender. I love the theme of redemption and restoration here. Our God loves to tie up the loose ends in our lives and work things out together for good when we allow Him to do so. Your story was a perfect fit for the topic and it made me want to pray for reconciliation for any currently unrestored relationship that I know of. Great devotional at the end. Superb writing over all.
I liked your descriptions of the storm. It paralleled the emotional storm your MC was struggling with. Sorry it took a tornado to bring the family back together, but happy God used it for their good. Good job! Keep writing.
03/09/13
Your descriptions not only brought the scene to life, but also brought the MC's emotions to life. It's so true the tragedy often brings families back together, but I was curious about what had driven them apart.
The ending of the story game meaning to the title. You have reminded us of the importance of relationships, and the value of maintaining them.
I think this is a stunning piece. From the storms rumbling to the MC's hurting heart you had me totally invested in each character. The only suggestion I might give would be I wanted to read more. I long to know why he was ignoring his mother's calls and what had happened yo put such a horrible rift between mother and son. Wanting to read more of the story is a compliment. I think you could turn this into something much bigger perhaps a novel or perhaps a longer short story. You did a great job on us this. Thank you for sharing.
03/10/13
I like happy endings. You took me on a journey, wondering what went wrong, whose fault it was, and all the while developing your story to bring it to a satisfying ending. Great job.
03/11/13
Very descriptive and absorbing work, which shows real potential for you to open up your characters and invite your readers into their thoughts. Well done.
Such descriptions! I could feel the storm that had built in your MC's heart as well as your MC's parents. Coming to grips with our differences and choices - you wrote this so well, the reuniting was totally believable.
03/13/13
Good story of restoration and healing. I liked your description of mom taking responsibility for being human. Well done.