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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Tie (02/28/13)

TITLE: A Tie To End A Mess
By Olawale Ogunsola
03/06/13


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By the time the sun became unbearably hot, I was tired. Yet, there was an important task that I wanted to carry out but I was already thinking of putting it off until the following day.

However, the Holy Spirit stirred me up to do it.

What was the task?

A very big banner was just prepared by a specialist for the ministry to register its presence at Akobo.

With the help of My Comforter and a few brothers, it was tied properly on its four corners to the poles prepared for it, in a conspicuous place.

About thirty minutes later, a young man came to my office.

I offered him a seat into which he threw himself and his bag.

"I have come to see the man of God in charge of this ministry." he started.

"Any problem?" I asked.

" I just want him to pray for me." he said managing to dish out a smile.

"I am, then let's pray." I said.

He dropped to his knees with me and before I could utter a word of prayer, the Holy Spirit told me to ask for his prayer point.

"Bro, what's your prayer point?" I asked in obedience.

"Forgiveness." he replied.

I opened my mouth to pray but again the Holy Spirit asked me to ask him what he has done wrong.

"What is your sin?"

He rose from his knees, sat on a chair and I did likewise.

His story:

"Sir, I'm tired of my life!"

"Why?" I asked.

He breathed deeply, bowed down for a while but later looked at me with tear-filled eyes.

"What I am passing through is very unusual." he lamented.

"What is it?" I asked in amazement.

"The trouble started after my high school education. Anywhere I found myself, I stole petty and useless items. There was no day or place I did it that I was not apprehended and subjected to serious torture."

" Is that the reason behind a few scars which perforated your face?"

"Yes sir." he said sympathetically.

"Recently," he continued, "I was passing by a building and saw so many men's and women's wears washed and spread to dry them by the sun. They were neatly arranged. They caught my attention and I went there to steal women's old wears."

"Why women's wears?" I cut in, confused.

"Sir, I don't know the reason. I'm still single without a girlfriend to give, no one can buy them."

"There is an evil spirit behind it." I suggested.

"Do you know that I did not leave the spot before I was apprehended?" he disclosed ruefully, tears mingling with saliva.

I shook my head in sympathy.

"People rushed to beat hell out of me. They were about to set me ablaze when an elderly man intervened." he continued.

"How?" I inquired.

"The man calmed them and asked me so many questions in their midst that I answered. At the end, he told my attackers,

'This young man is not a thief. Please consider it: he is a man but did not steal any of the expensive men's wears. He did not steal costly women's wears but these worthless items. In addition, he took only two of them.'

'Now! You have all heard him. We have taken the items back. He has suffered more than enough. Let him go. He has some spiritual problems.'

The man concluded and I was set free." he explained.

"Are you living in this area?" I inquired.

"No! I came from another town to put a permanent end to this mess."

"How do you want to do it?"

He was quiet for a moment looking at me steadfastly.

He struggled with the contents of his traveller's bag and brought out a very strong rope.

"Of what use is this?" I asked.

"I wanted to tie it on a very big pole I have sighted somewhere to tie the object of the mess to it. On seeing the banner, something in me said I must come to you for prayer." he said dejectedly.

I sighed deeply, almost in tears, with many unanswerable questions on riot to be asked.

"Can you please give me that rope?" I demanded.

"Sure! I'll give it to you." he said surrendering.

I prayed for him as led by the Holy Spirit and he vowed never to think of committing suicide because he felt the burden and the guilt on his heart were lifted.

Author's note: this is a true life story.


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This article has been read 181 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Allison Egley 03/08/13
Oh, this is good.

I know in school we were often taught to use words besides "said." However, it's best to avoid the word and its synonymns all together. For example, instead of saying "He asked" you could say "He raised his eyebrows. 'What is your sin?'" SHOW us what's happening instead of just telling us. Feel free to contact me via PM if you want more info. :)

Nice job, and nice to hear it's a true story.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/10/13
This is a powerful story. I could feel all kinds of emotions as you took me on this sad journey. At times I struggled a bit with the transitions. You handled a delicate topic with love and understanding and I have been blessed by your words.
Allison Egley 03/11/13
I mentioned that you should try to get rid of the word "said" and the words like it. Let me give you a couple of examples from your story.

Here you wrote:
I offered him a seat into which he threw himself and his bag.

"I have come to see the man of God in charge of this ministry." he started.


You could say: The man sighed before plopping into the seat. "I have come to see the man of God in charge of this ministry."


And this one: "Bro, what's your prayer point?" I asked in obedience.

"Forgiveness." he replied.

You could change this to:
I looked at the man, a bit perplexed. "Brow, what's your prayer point?"

"Forgiveness."


Since it's clearly a conversation between two people, you don't have to say "he said" (or anything of the sort) each time, because it's pretty clear who's speaking.

Just try to imagine what the person is doing and describe that, instead of using the word "said."

I hope that makes sense!



Bonnie Bowden03/12/13
Wow! God really used you that day--obedience is the key. I wonder if the man had some psychological problem he needed help for.