The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 284 times
Member Comments
This is a cute idea!

This needs to be expanded. Tell us more. Why did she want the trophy so badly? What was she thinking during the race? What did she do to try to get ahead? How did she feel when it was a tie? Thee are a lot of details that are missing in this story.

If you expand this, this could be a really cute story. Keep writing!
This is interesting take. I think your take on the topic was fresh. I didn't think of that meaning at all when I first saw the topic.

Some of your lines feel a bit stilted and repetitive. You may want to consider smoothing them out like this: Annabelle put on a short sleeve shirt and her black-and-white shorts. Her heart pounded as she drove to the park for the big race.

I found myself wanting to know more about Annabelle--especially the bullies. That's a good sign when a reader wants to keep reader. Keep writing those stories you feel led to write.
I felt I was in the race with her! And do I remember bullies. sigh. There will always be bullies - and there will always be Jesus to love us through these trying times.

I find outlining helps to corral my thoughts and expand my ideas.

Good job - you get to the heart immediately.