The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 333 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This must be an Editor's Choice! So well written, so perfect - so involving!

Loving you in through and because of Jesus, the Christ . . .

Have you "thrown a brick"?
Very impassioned, heart-felt devotional. Those words from Isaiah about God's words not returning void are some of my favorites. Glad you threw the brick. Great writing!
Your message is precious because it is straight for our Lord jesus's heart. Thank you for your passionate love for God and being willing to share it. We do need to let our lives be accented with God's Holy Spirit as we are walking day to day. On Forums, Jan, has some very helpful grammar tips. The internet also has many sites where you can access grammar exercises which will help you in sentence structure and punctuation. I also have much to learn in these areas... The more you learn these things, the clearer your message will become to your reader allowing God's light to shine even more. Blessings...
You have clearly communicated your love for others, and filled a short devotional to the brim with nuggets of truth. Well done.
03/04/13
Your title was a perfect fit.;-) I suggest another look at the use of the word "You." It's used differently in the first paragraph than in the second. In the second paragraph, I think you meant to use "we" rather than "you." Also, consider being consistent with your pronouns (singular vs. plural). ..."lead them...but that person, is responsible for his/her." A better way -
"The Holy Spirit can lead them...but they are responsible for their...their decisions... and the choices they make." Here, you're not mixing singular pronouns with pleural pronouns in the same sentence.

I would caution against the overuse of the word "you" in making your points. While you don't intend to do so, using "you" can often come off as sounding preachy. Ex. "Not just for others or me it was for you!" A milder, less condemning tone might be something like..."only Son to be crucified for us. That's how much God loves us. Jesus loved us so much that...

Another example: "Let me tell you... A better way could be: "Let's remember, we don't have all of the answers."

There are other areas where proofreading would make a big difference. i.e. "it sudden, know now much,..."

You have a compelling message, and one every believer needs to spread.
Perfect title for a heartfelt evangelistic plea. As mentioned before, there are a few grammatical errors, but that is what this challenge is all about. Continue you to hone your skills. God will use your writing in a powerful way! Keep writing and God bless!
03/05/13
This was so pure, and straight from your heart that it spoke volumes. It blessed me, and touched me deeply...when one expresses love for God, as you've demonstrated in this piece, it resonates with love and purpose.

I think you have an amazing gift my friend. Please continue to be led by the Spirit, as you so clearly are. I'm sure you're pleasing God, and making Him proud.

I especially loved this part:
"when we have the Holy Spirit within us; we are equipped to handle the battle. If we do not have the Holy Spirit within us or have not made our decision then most times the result can be devastating..." Excellent!

God bless~
03/06/13
I love your title, "Highlighting the Truth," and feel this sentence of yours goes so perfectly with it: "So while you can, dig into the truth, find out for yourselves, and let the Word of God accent your life and underline the truth and your future forever."

You shared an important, thought-provoking message! :)
03/06/13
Great job for your first (?) article. I especially liked your line "underline the truth and your future forever."
Keep writing with this passion!
03/06/13
Beautiful thoughts. Every tribe and every language will praise God.
This has some great points in this piece. I can feel your passion in your words and know you have a great desire to help others know the peace that Jesus has given you.

This is just my opinion, but when someone starts an article by asking me questions or using the word you, it can come off as feeling preachy or that I'm being lectured. I would feel a greater connection with the MC or author if you used the words I and me and show me how God has impacted you, then I might think oh I totally can relate to that.

Also be careful in your phrasing. This line: We barely have time to react to the problem, when we have the Holy Spirit within us; we are equipped to handle the battle.
I first read it so it would mean this: When we have the Holy Spirit in us, we barely have time to react. It almost sounds like having the Holy Spirit in us could be a bad thing. Of course I know you didn't mean that and your second half of that line clears it up. If you had added a period after problem and then started the next line with something like: When we have the Holy Spirit in us, however, we are equipped to handle any battle.then your message would have been clearer.

I really liked the line about the Word of god being alive. I've never heard it put quite like that and thought it was a fantastic statement. it really made me stop and think, and that is always a good thing. I also think you covered the topic. I also think your description of how much Jesus loves us is quite powerful. It's amazing every time I think of how much he endured for me, who am not worthy of any such grace, but through His love and sacrifice He makes me worthy. You did a good job!