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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Singing (10/31/05)

TITLE: Lunatics
By Debbie Sickler
11/06/05


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Shouts echoed down the stark white corridor. Squeaky orthopedic shoes struggled against the new patient’s defiant feet. Gary unlocked cell 324 and shoved the young woman in. Her arms restricted by the tight jacket, her body crumpled on the ammonia scented tile.

“But you don’t understand! Please just listen to me!” Zara pleaded with her captors.

“Let’s see your God get you out of this one!” Gary scoffed, double locking the door from the outside. She heard more shouts down the hall as his squeaky shoes drifted further away, leaving Zara alone in her tiny new home.



Dawn streamed through a narrow window high on the wall, shining directly into Zara’s face. She tried to wipe the sleep from her eyes; the realization that her arms were still securely bound snapped her wide awake.

“You awake ma’am? It’s time for your breakfast.” Charlie set a tray down on an undersized table beside her twin bed. “Here, roll over and let me unfasten that for you so you can eat.” Zara obeyed his request and he gently struggled with the numerous straps, releasing her limbs at last.

“Thank you.” Zara stretched and looked down at the tray. On it, she saw a tall glass of a thick, grayish substance. “What is that stuff?”

“Sorry, I know it’s not very pleasant looking, but they say you get used to it. I’m Charlie by the way.”

Suddenly, a loud voice interrupted. “ANGELS ARE PREPARING FOR BATTLE!”

“Here we go again, I’ve gotta take care of that guy. I’ll be back for your tray later!” Charlie quickly excused himself, pausing only long enough to secure her door.

“REPENT!” Zara heard the patient continue his warning. “THE END IS NEAR!”



Month after month, Zara found herself treated like a prisoner, reminding her of Paul’s imprisonment in the Bible. She tried her best to follow his example, keeping God’s praises continuously on her lips.

“How is it that you can be locked in here and still sing so beautifully?” Charlie asked one day, setting down her morning meal. Zara was sitting on the edge of her bed, still tightly bound physically, but her singing revealed that her soul was free. His simple inquiry allowed her to share her faith in the unseen God.



“Guess it’s time to feed the wackos lunch. I’ll see you guys later.” Gary tossed his take out containers into the trash and left the break room to start his rounds.

He approached cell 318 with a tray of the infamous gray goo. Upon unlocking the door, he quickly discovered the room empty. He dropped the tray and ran to the next cell and the next, only to make the same discovery.



“How many?” Mr. Jeffries demanded.

“All of them sir.” Gary uneasily reported.

“You mean to tell me that hundreds of patients just walked out of my state of the art facility without setting off a single alarm or anyone seeing them?” Veins near his temples threatened to burst.

“Yes sir.”

“Find them. Now.”



It had been hours since the patience had gone missing and the sun was beginning to set. White coats wandered with flashlights, searching futilely.

“Hey Gary, what do you suppose happened?” asked Jarred, as they searched the grounds together, checking every bush and tree.

“How should I know? Maybe little green men finally came to take the freaks back to their home planet.” Gary laughed at his own joke as he pictured them being beamed up, straight jackets and all.

“You think maybe they were right—that maybe that Jesus guy they were always talking about really did come back?”

“Jared quit bugging me with all these stupid questions. You’re making my head hurt and my feet are killing me. I say good riddance! I’m going home.”

“But they said to stay in pairs!” Jared protested as Gary began to walk towards the main building.

“So go search with Charlie or Brice or somebody. I’m done!” Gary called over his shoulder.

“Didn’t you hear? Charlie is missing too.” Gary froze in his tracks.

“What did you just say?”

“No one’s seen him since he was doing his rounds this morning. Melanie found his chart in room 324 next to some crumpled pages from a Bible. Boy was Mr. Jeffries upset when he found out someone snuck those pages in! You know he thinks the Bible only feeds into their hysteria. Guess it doesn’t matter much now…”


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This article has been read 925 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dan Louise Mann11/07/05
One can't help but like this story and cheer for the lunatics!
Carol Adams11/08/05
Good job in portraying our life here on earth and then reminding us of our future. No doubt the singing will resound in their ears as they remember.
Jan Ackerson 11/08/05
Excellent...powerful!
B Brenton11/08/05
Brilliant! I'm clapping enthusiastically (well in my mind anyhow).
Great story.
Jeffrey Snell11/09/05
Great job! I had no idea where you were taking me until the last third. Glad Charlie made it in time! =)
Denise Stanford11/09/05
An insider's insight! Many wonderful Christians in old Soviet Russia were imprisoned on the same premise.
Probably elsewhere in the world they still are. Provocative writing, great choice for topic, nicely done
Anita Neuman11/09/05
Great story! It held my attention all the way through.
Pat Guy 11/09/05
Gave me goosbumps! Enjoyed this very much!
D. Phenes11/09/05
This reminds us that the Grace of God can reach those we may label "unreachable". Well done.. djdeb
Shari Armstrong 11/09/05
Very cool! Nicely done.
Brandi Roberts11/09/05
Oooooh! I loved this! Very well written!
Laurie Glass11/09/05
Wow. You did such a great job with this. You are so creative.
Cassie Memmer11/09/05
Excellent! I really enjoyed this. You kept us reading/pushing to the end to see where you were taking us! Good writing!
Suzanne R11/10/05
Very creative - well done!
terri tiffany11/10/05
Very nice!! I loved the ending.
Linda Watson Owen11/10/05
You put your reader right into this wonderfully told story! I was hanging on every word!
Julianne Jones11/11/05
Guess we're all lunatics here at FW then! LOL. Well written and I enjoyed the twist at the end.
Val Clark11/12/05
Well done, Deb. Your story flows well. With a few economical phrases you have given us a solid sense of place. The parallel with Paul was a neat 'red herring'. Enjoyed it.
Debbie OConnor11/12/05
Good work! I really enjoyed this story. Your title is great, the story was gripping and mysterious and I loved the ending.
Lauren Bombardier11/14/05
I loved it, Debbie! Congrats, girl!


   
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