The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/23/13
Beautiful message and wonderful devotion to our Lord. God bless~
I totally enjoyed this article. You had me smiling and chuckling throughout the whole beginning. You painted some vivid pictures for me and I really enjoyed them.

The one thing I might suggest would be instead of using the universal you, use the first person I, me. By saying I locked my keys in the trunk of my car, that allows the reader to not only relate to the story, but also to relate to you. It makes the devotion feel less like a lecture and more like a friend who is trying to help another learn the truth about God.

I think you did a delightful job on the topic. Though there have been many similar articles this week, your descriptions of bumbles pulled me in and made me want to keep reading. Your Biblical references were spot on. You left me with a warm fuzzy feeling when I finished reading this well-written piece.