The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/22/13
This was a poignant read and held an authentic tone to it. The fact that the Lord forgives us is really powerful and one many people have trouble embracing. So glad your MC did.

God bless~
I think this has the makings of a great story. There is a touch of romance, suspense, and a good message.

I did notice at times I had to re-read in order to figure out who was who. You had some missing quotes. I also noticed some sentences that made me stumble. For example instead of her dad and her, it would flow better with she and her dad.

I think you did a nice job in the ending as you resolved the conflicts, but didn't tie it up into a neat little bow like many authors might be tempted to do. I really enjoyed this piece. It kept my attention from beginning to end. You also cover the topic in a fresh and interesting way. Good job.
02/25/13
The story has great climax and ending. It's too bad, we as Christians tend to jump to wrong conclusions so easily.

I did notice some quotation marks missing which made it a little more difficult to read in parts, but it didn't take away anything from the intensity of the story.