The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/22/13
Interesting and well written entry. I enjoyed it from start to finish! Thank you.
God bless~
I think you did a brilliant job with this story. You grabbed my attention right away in the first paragraph with a conundrum of the missing keyhole.

I did suspect that this was going to be a dream sequence and sometimes that can be seen as a literary cop-out, however, I think you did a good job of using the dream effectively. I do believe God uses dreams to wake us up.

I did notice that you had a few passive sentences with words like was, has, be, is in them. You may want to try to switch them up with active verbs. This is an example: Jacob looked over his shoulder as a sense of solitude washed over him. Instead of Jacob was certain he was alone.Hopefully you can see how the first one paints a picture for the reader and helps set the scene.

Overall, I think that you did a fabulous job on the topic. I loved the way you inserted the scripture verse. The symbolism that his keys were testing on that verse showed a bit a genius. Matthew 7:7 is one of my favorite verses and you did a great job of showing the meaning of that verse.
02/25/13
I found the story intriguing and love settings that are not quite expected. I loved the doors in the middle of the woods, but could have pictured it better with some more description. Were the doors in a wall or structure of some sort? Could Jacob have walked around to the other side? I also wondered why he wanted to go through a door, although as it got later, it was clear he was in an unfamiliar place.

I guess some of the ambiguity was due to the dream. I love fantasy and am always a little disappointed when it turns out to be a dream, but I did like the way you tied it into real life with an enigmatic ending.
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