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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Note (02/07/13)

TITLE: Steel Blue Reverberations
By Emily Gillilan
02/14/13


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Would I know to charge into the world in plaid bellbottom pants and smile at naysayers


If not for Akhil?


Would I know to kiss the head of an infant, let him totter left and right and slip on linoleum


If not for Akhil?


Would I tiptoe-spin on bricks, a rainbow scarf flinging on-lookers

Would an orange taste better chased with salt and spice


If not for Akhil?


Would I hear Journey notes in a steel blue sky—“Don’t Stop Believing”

Or would closed blinds and dirty laundry trap me


If not for Akhil?


Would I know prince charming wears an empty muffin tin hat and sheet-cape around his neck

Would a 24-hour deadline fill my room with high-five hands and patient eyes

Would I know to serve chocolate milk at a wine party, or cup my hands under a chin for tears


If not for Akhil?


Would fire wood smoke burn to heaven or beautiful eyes flash to mommy’s voice


If not for Akhil?


Would popping balloons be companions

Would doctors find cancer in sore muscles six months late

Could “Blood at first sight” grant emergency entrance

Would India be less than an ocean away and heaven be closer to earth


If not for Akhil?


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This article has been read 191 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Bonnie Bowden02/14/13
I liked the title and poetical quality of your writing. I am not sure who Akhil is though.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/19/13
This is a lovely tribute. You have a poetic way of arranging your words. I do fear that you may lose quite a few of your readers though. I even searched for a connection between the band Journey and the name Akhil but didn't find anything. That does happen with poetry though. Sometimes it goes over one person's head while touching another's heart. Though I didn't totally understand it, many of the lines brought a vivid picture to my mind. I especially liked the bell bottom lines. Don't get discouraged because one or two people may not have understood everything. You have a wonderful sense of rhythm and the sardonic sense of humor wasn't entirely lost on me. I'm eager to read more of your works.
Terry R A Eissfeldt 02/20/13
This is magical. Leaving your readers with questions is an art. You have me begging for more.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/20/13
I came back to this piece because the words haunted me. I sense a pain so great that it can only be known by a love equally as great. Everyone who knew Akhil will treasure this piece. He will live forever in your words.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/20/13
I came back to this piece because the words haunted me. I sense a pain so great that it can only be known by a love equally as great. Everyone who knew Akhil will treasure this piece. He will live forever in your words.