The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/18/13
"Grieving for the little girl I once was..." drew me into the story.
When you were a child, you seemed happy and carefree. What caused the pain that made you old before your time and withdrew? I wanted to know why your emotions changed over time.

This story compelled me to examine my own life. At the end you were like a caterpillar in a cocoon tearing off the layers until you turned into a butterfly.

Only an awesome God can make such a transition in a person.

Thank you for sharing your story.
02/19/13
Very thought provoking piece. There is no way to recapture the past. I'm glad the MC found a way to break free at the end.
This is such a powerful piece. Your description of loneliness is exquisitely painful. Though you use the word note in the story and use it in a clever and fresh way, I'm not positive that it makes your story on topic or that the main point of your story is about note. This one is kind of borderline for me and I suspect if it doesn't rank as high as one might expect that would likely be the reason. The other criteria is great. You have a conflict in the beginning that draws me in and I feel all kinds of emotion in this piece. The message about only finding ourselves if we look above is intense. The ending brings the story full circle and leaves me with much to think about.