The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/17/13
This is such a bittersweet story. I could feel the pain and the longing for acceptance and forgiveness.

The only thing I might suggest would be to focus more on the part about her wanting to have her baby be born on the birthday of her father and to tell more about why and how her father ended up in jail. This is a good sign that I wanted to read more.

I think it had some fascinating and delightful bits of food for thought. Overall, you did a nice job of writing on topic in a fresh and fascinating way.
02/20/13
Ahhh...what a touching story!