The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh what a beautiful story. You did a nice job of pulling the pain of the lost little girl out of the page. I can so relate because even though I have three kids of my own, I often still feel lost little girl.

The only thing that would make this stronger is to do more showing and less telling. For example the line I was mourning is a passive sentence that tells the reader the emotions. Try to avoid passive verbs like was and show the reader with something like this: I hugged my knees up to my chin as the pain in my heart jerked me back to the reality that Grandma would never again wrap her arms around me. That's just an example but I hope it shows you what I mean.

I think you have a delight knack of storytelling. You did a nice job off covering the topic in a fresh way. Your message is divine and one we all need reminding of from time to time. No matter how alone and lost we feel Jesus is always there for us.
02/20/13
Ah...what a sweet story!