The Official Writing Challenge
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This is an intriguing story. I like the concept of spiritually deaf as it has such a force behind the words. Sometimes God is chucking bricks at us to get our attention, yet we refuse to listen, much like the petulant boy in the story.

Remember to use quotation marks to show who is speaking. Also make sure you start a new paragraph with each new speaker, even if they just say one word. I think if you added some narration to the dialog that would help the reader know who is speaking and their emotional state. "Bobby, get in here now!" Mom threw her arms up in the air and collapsed in defeat onto the floor.

You do make some interesting points in this piece. I think many parents will be able to relate to the MC. Nice job,
02/02/13
Great job, wonderful imagery and masterful writing. I truly enjoyed this piece. Nicely done! God bless~
02/06/13
Creative piece. It reminds me of Charles Stanley who regularly says, "Listen!" He wants people to hear not only with their ears but their hearts. Good thoughts...

Wing His Words,