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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Repeat (01/24/13)

TITLE: Spiritually Deaf
By clarissa aguilera


Bobby you have an appointment today at 3:00 o’ clock with Ms. Porter. That’s in exactly 10 minutes, from now, said his mother Nancy.

“Mother, I still do not understand why I have to visit Ms. Porter once a week? Bobby I’ve already went over this with you several times. You’re attitude needs to change. Maybe she can help us?

Just, maybe you’ll listen to her. She’s a PSYCHOLOGIST a professional in psychology: she studies the human mind and experience in behavior, and is licensed to provide therapeutic services.

“Mom, you’re talking about therapy, “Do you know how that sounds? Mother you asked me to throw the trash a few times “make your bed Bobby”, clean your room, and mow the lawn, a constant nag. So because of this I need therapy?

“Bobby, I constantly have to be talking to you, you’re always yelling, and you take everything personal when I’m trying to teach you something. (PROVERBS 1:8) NIV Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

“All I ask is that you help out around the house, son.

Mr. Porter is a Christian woman, very wise, maybe she can give us some guidance, on where were lacking communication and understanding. (PROVERBS 3:13-14) NIV Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.

Son, if I have to repeat myself over and over, there’s a problem, “maybe you’re having trouble hearing.”

I’ll make an appointment with the ear doctor, and will have your ears checked.

“Mom”, I do not need my ears checked.

Bobby, then what is the problem?

Ms. Porter and I were having this conversation on being spiritually deaf.

• DEAF: hard of hearing; completely or partially unable to hear in one or both ears

• Unresponsive or indifferent: Unwilling to respond to something as if unable to hear it

Bobby, Ms. Porter sounds like a very wise Christian woman who can help guide us in the right direction, if we put our trust in God and meet with her on a, “(one on one session)” we just might overcome the obstacles placed in our path.

Spiritually deaf; how intriguing, makes logical sense you got my attention mom.

“Bobby I agree, “With what mother?” “You’re a very intelligent young man, you don’t need a Psychologist, all it takes is some understanding and the willingness, “(the want and the need to listen)”son.

Mom, now that you sliced, diced, and chopped it all up, “may I apologize for the ignorance? Nancy said, sure son after you throw the trash, clean up you’re room, and mow the lawn.

Bobby leans back in his chair with his hands folded behind his head, and stated with a grin, your good mom.

Nancy smiles and with one hand on Bobby’s shoulder pats Bobby on the back, then reaches out both her arms and gracefully hugs her son, whispering “I love you son”.

“I love you to, mom”.

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This article has been read 266 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/01/13
This is an intriguing story. I like the concept of spiritually deaf as it has such a force behind the words. Sometimes God is chucking bricks at us to get our attention, yet we refuse to listen, much like the petulant boy in the story.

Remember to use quotation marks to show who is speaking. Also make sure you start a new paragraph with each new speaker, even if they just say one word. I think if you added some narration to the dialog that would help the reader know who is speaking and their emotional state. "Bobby, get in here now!" Mom threw her arms up in the air and collapsed in defeat onto the floor.

You do make some interesting points in this piece. I think many parents will be able to relate to the MC. Nice job,
C D Swanson 02/02/13
Great job, wonderful imagery and masterful writing. I truly enjoyed this piece. Nicely done! God bless~
PamFord Davis 02/06/13
Creative piece. It reminds me of Charles Stanley who regularly says, "Listen!" He wants people to hear not only with their ears but their hearts. Good thoughts...

Wing His Words,