The Official Writing Challenge
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I thought this was an interesting essay. I saw some things in a different light. I haven't thought of it in this way before. Try to eliminate passive sentences with the word was in that. Instead of saying He was busy, try something like The constant activities drained him. I also thought it was a bit of a stretch for the topic. Though near the end there was some repetition, if I had not known what the topic was I would have guessed that was about repenting not repeat. You do make some great points though and leave the reader with much to think about. Good job.
02/02/13
Interesting writing and a creative way of presenting the topic. Good job.

God bless~
Engrossing!