The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/25/13
I like the style of your story. It reads like a parable with a good message but no preaching. I felt the second half was better than the first half because it was more immediate and the dialogue brought the characters to life. I especially like the part about his wife eating his supper and the line about her being consoled as a widow was excellent.
01/25/13
The title drew me right in. It was a wonderful modern day parable.
01/26/13
This was so clever and entertaining. I loved the style, the tone, and the entire piece.

God bless~
This is an interesting story. You do a nice job of building the suspense and showing the reader the MC's personality. One thing I might suggest would be to start off with the wife yelling I killed my husband!" That would grab the reader right away. I think you did a nice job of writing on topic and resolving the conflict in the end. Nice job.