The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You did an outstanding job with this piece. You grabbed my attention right away. At first I thought the MC might be Jesus until the broken legs. It made me eager to read more. I noticed some punctuation errors like missing periods or commas in the dialog. That's no biggie though.You may want to make sure your title doesn't give away the ending. Overall you nailed the topic all while telling a great story.
You did a good job making this maybe not so well known Bible story come alive.
Wow. Just wow. You did a great job with this Bible story. From the beginning, I was caught up in the action, wondering how this story would end. Good work!
What a great Bible story! You really made this passage come to life. A reminder that what God says will truly come to pass.
You did a great job! God bless!
I knew instantly what story you were sharing, but it didn't make it any less interesting. For those who've not read or heard of it, it's a good Bible lesson that you're bringing out.

Your writing style is very readable, and you draw out your conclusions well. Some grammar work would make your story really sparkle. Also, it has a lot of past tense and reflecting of the MC. You're talented at putting the reader in the moment. Put us there for the whole piece, scene by scene, and it will draw us into the MC's head.

Great job! Keep writing.
Great job with this Biblical piece. Nicely done, and well written.

God bless~
Great retelling of an important Bible truth.
Congratulations for ranking 12th in level one!