The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A very good lesson for all of us. Thank you! I like the way you began right in the middle of the action. Check your punctuation. Needed some commas in places. Good job, keep writing! (P.S. I hope he has enough cash for that double date, lol:)
This is an interesting story. You started out with the conflict right away and made me want to keep reading. The only red ink I might have is it did feel a tad preachy. Perhaps he could have gotten the message sooner. Don't get me wrong I think it is a great message and one we need reminding of especially in this day and time. I also think it was quite a clever take on the topic. You did a nice job from beginning to end.
I liked this so much! Nice message and an easy read. Thanks. God Bless~
Good message, especially in light of this economy.