The Official Writing Challenge
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01/10/13
Nice job portraying her loneliness, and then her realization of God's blessing. Try to make space between paragraphs for easier reading. I'm memorizing Psalm 27 right now, so this one inspired me. Thenks, and keep writing!
01/11/13
You described the scenery around Emily beautifully, which seemed to highlight the solace and loneliness that left her dejected. Yet, she came out of it triumphantly when the words of the psalm came to mind. It is truly amazing how the word of God can lift one's spirits from dejection to joy. Thanks for sharing.
This is an interesting story. I could so totally relate to the MC. This has been a year of change for me. My youngest went off to college, my son 13 hours away to grad school and my oldest was married. This was the first time we wouldn't all be together like we had in the past. My kids pointed out the reason we celebrate Christmas and humbled me some--much like your MC.

You do a nice job of describing the setting but you need to be careful of purple prose. It's basically when a writer gets too caught up in the details and descriptions. Because of the word limit, it is important to tighten up your sentences. For example this: The pounding, blue ocean's waves crashing against the cliffs at the northern end of the secluded cove,
might have a greater impact like this: The waves pounded the cliffs of the secluded cove.
Then that would free you up to delve deeper into your MC with something like; Emily pulled her sweater tight to protect herself from the biting wind, but the shiver that ran down her back didn't come from the cold air.
That;s not perfect but it gives a mental picture of Emily and builds a bit of the suspense.

I do think you have a knack for storytelling. I like how Emily came to her epiphany and believe whole-heartedly that God will use animals to send us just the right message. I fear some may have a hard time seeing the topic in this piece, thought I think it was about her flat affect or mood. She felt lost and lonely even though she had had people surround her. So I do see the topic in there. I also liked the contrast with the rocky outcrops and the waves crashing into the beach. Overall you have a well-written piece that delivers a powerful message. Nicely done.
01/14/13
Nice story telling and a very creative way of presenting the topic. Nicely done. I enjoyed this.
God bless~
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