The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/14/12
Good story with an emphasis on morals. Nicely done.
God Bless~
This is a cute story. All three of my kids have been lifeguards so I can really appreciate this.

You need to polish this up a bit. You have some typos and things like missing quotation marks. A challenge buddy might help you with these technical things. You can PM me or perhaps another writer and ask if they'd like to be challenge buddies.

You covered the topic in a fresh way. Kids just think they are having fun but it could be quite dangerous. It reminds me of a time when a bunch of boys were chucking chestnuts at each other when one kid picked up a brick and hit my son with It. His head bled like crazy and the other kid was terrified of being arrested. Your story shows how important it is to have responsible adult supervision. This is also a great way to show pack mentality. People do things with others that they'd never do alone. Nice job.
Hi -

Thank you for that stern firm message. Yes, there are indeed consequences for our misdeeds.

You chastised but I could certainly feel the love in how you administered the truth and lesson.
Thank you for inspiring me to write my piece on yesterday July 3, 2013:

Excerpt:
Proverbs 6:16, 17
The Lord hates lying...