The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 274 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/14/12
Beautifully written and beautifully told. This touched my heart, and the significance and meaning will touch many others. God is always there for a "conference" and He is always "listening."

Thanks. God bless~
This is an interesting story. As a parent, I'm always humbled when my children are wiser than myself. This story shows just that.

I noticed in the beginning you did more telling than showing. For example this sentence is telling:
The anger, frustration and resentment were obvious
Perhaps having the father slap the steering wheel while snorting or have the son roll his eyes and lean in his seat as far away from his father as possible would help paint a picture for the reader.

Later, you do have some great examples of showing. My favorite was the white knuckles. It painted a picture that really showed the tension in the car. I also thought the bit about life being like a game of cards was an outstanding analogy. Overall this is a great bit of writing.