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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Step(s) (11/29/12)

TITLE: The Trip
By Rachael Severa
12/06/12


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I tiptoe backwards, a slow close to the door, a narrow glimpse of the boys resting, dreaming of Christmas morn. With a youthful stride brushing my hair to my ear, I swoop up the boxes and bags of goodies to follow the banister; skipping one, two, or maybe three for good measure, a hasty decision when my heel swipes the corner, a knock to my knees and elbows hurrying my pace, tumbling side to side when gravity stops me bottom first and my head about face. The boxes hit the hardest … crouching inward to ease the shock; my eyes close as I turn of my head … here comes the second box. In a frustrated tone—I break out with a … “Shush” … when my hand cups my mouth … silence broke in … I’m merely shushing my mouth. Grumbling, maybe, now that it’s over, I waste no time in swooping my boxes and bags putting them in order; my foot forges forward but misses the next mark, it landed in the bed of a Tonka Truck as it rolls my legs apart.
Yes, this is the moment that reflected my entire year, dare I say, wait till next year.


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This article has been read 343 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/08/12
This is great. You had me snorting throughout the piece as my mind pictured the happenings that you showed. Although it's not 100% clear, I'm guessing the mis-stepping MC is Santa Claus or perhaps the Grinch. Whichever way the reader chooses it to be this was a light-hearted and fun story.
Connie K Cameron12/09/12
I loved this piece. I could actually feel the fall and stepping on the toy. It was short and sweet and it made me laugh!
CD Swanson 12/11/12
Hahahahahahahaha....This was so funny and lively. Nicely done. I enjoyed it.
God bless~