The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a really sweet story. I enjoyed the exchange between a mother and daughter. There's something special about that relationship and you showed that with your characters.

I did have a hard time following who was speaking because you left out some quotation marks. There were also little errors like there instead of their. A good proofreader or challenge buddy might help you out. If you check the forums you will see others who are looking for a buddy or if you do need help in finding someone feel free to send me a PM and I'll try to help.

You covered the topic in a different way. The old Christmas special where they sing You put one foot in front of the other... came to mind as I read your story and it took me back to my childhood and to a time when things seemed simple. I really liked your characters and think this is a great story to show how important it is to listen to your kids and guide them as they find the right answer. Nicely done.
I love a "story within a story." Clearly this entry had a lot to offer the reader, so many layers in between the words. Wonderful job with this. Thanks.
God bless~