The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/22/12
That would be a reason for celebration! I'm glad that Tom was found.
11/23/12
Not sure if this is a true story or not, but you have a knack for storytelling.

Technical-wise, it could use some tightening up, and there are a few grammatical, punctuation, and formatting errors, but overall a great effort.

Looking forward to more entries from you!
This is a really sweet story. It reminds me of a Little House story or episode.

I did get a tad confused at times because of the quotation marks. Like in the opening paragraph you have two sets so I wasn't sure if someone else was talking. Then having Pa be older than Grandpa was a tad confusing too. It may have been a bit easier had you used his first name.

However, you did do a nice job of building the suspense. I liked how Grandma had a feeling in heart that they should stay home. Sometimes I think God does try to talk to us. Then you went in a direction I wasn't expecting and had Grandma think instead of spending her time worrying or nagging she should have prayed. That's a message I often needed to be reminded of. Good job.
11/27/12
I loved this story! Nicely done and told. God bless~