The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/15/12
Nice story. Love the ending. Made me smile!
This is a delightful story. You had me smiling right away with the squeaky voice from the backseat.

The one thing I might suggest would be to give your characters names. It'll help the reader relate to them more. (Even if you just used Mom for the mother's name it would be more endearing.)

I truly enjoyed this piece. The little girl reminded me of my baby who is now 18. I fell in love with your precocious little one. I could totally see her as a reoccurring character. You also did a good job of covering the topic both by showing with the shopping cart and with the little girl's last line. Well done.
11/19/12
Nice teaching story...it brought a smile to my face...God bless and thanks for sharing it...
11/22/12
How true! We should think about the effect on others before we take the easy way out. Thanks for pointing it out to us.
Congratulations for ranking 6th in level one!