The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/15/12
Very moving! I liked it a lot!
A well written piece showing the power of love and prayer.
This is a great story. You do a wonderful job of pulling the reader in right away with a sense of mystery and suspense.

Some of the grandfather's dialog didn't sound natural. For example this: an intensive ten day search coordinated by the search and rescue squad had failed to find any trace of him
might sound more real like this: I looked everywhere for him and screamed his name out until I couldn't talk. Even the search and rescue team couldn't find him.

You do an excellent job of showing the readers a vivid picture. The part about the swing moving faster sets the entire pace for this story and the twiddling with the ropes paints a perfect picture of anxiety. From the grandson noticing his beloved grandfather was irritated to the last word was a delight to read. You showed some amazing talent with this piece.
11/19/12
This has the makings of a great story, though I kinda got bogged down because there were no spaces between paragraphs. God bless and thanks for sharing this moving entry....
11/20/12
Great article! I loved the relationship between the grandfather and grandson. Just goes to show that kids do pay attention and have some nuggets of wisdom to share.