The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a really sweet story. I felt drawn to the characters immediately. You introduced the conflict right away. The mom's was almost palpable. I think every mother understands that feeling.

There were some tiny errors like your instead of you're. When you introduced Allison I needed to stop and reread to see if I missed her. I know you told about her in the next paragraph but you may want to mention who she is right away. A challenge buddy might help you catch these little things. If you need help finding one, feel free to PM.

I found this story delightful. You nailed the topic and created characters that many people can relate to, especially these days. I also enjoyed your message. God will prompt us to be his messenger and give someone what I would call an I love you from Jesus. It's so important for us to act on those nudgings. Something that may seem trivial to us could be huge for someone else. You did a fine job with this and I'm eager to read more of your work. :)
11/10/12
I loved this...almost brought a tear to my eye...God bless and thanks for sharing...
11/13/12
I really enjoyed reading this. It is a believable story. Keep up the good work.
11/14/12
This was a very sweet story with just enough gentle conflict and suspense to hold the reader's interest. You did a good job of characterization with the mom, Mattie, and Allison. There were a few minor punctuation errors, but they would be easily fixed. I enjoyed your story and loved the ending! :)
11/15/12
CONGRATULATIONS on your "Highly Commended" ranking for this touching story! :)