The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 255 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a great story. You had a real attention grabber right from the beginning and I was eager to read on.

You had some tiny errors like to instead of too and some missing capital letters or misplaced quotation marks. Having a challenge buddy might help you catch that. If you need help finding one feel free to PM me.

I could so relate to this MC as I suffer a chronic illness and two of the three kids know nothing but Mom being sick. I often worried I wasn't enough but then is anyone enough without God? You did a great job on this one.
The other thing I wanted to mention is be careful that your title doesn't give away the ending. I'm terrible at reading titles but had I seen this before the ending would be clear. Maybe something like Missing would be a good grabber for those who do read titles. Again I did like the story a lot.
11/04/12
I agree that this is a powerful story--you tell a lot for having a limited number of words to use.

I like the title. I think it has double meaning. It wasn't just Lucie that was found at the park. I don't know if you meant it to be that way, but I see that . . .
Quite a good story. So many feel God has let them down and no longer want to hear His name. You did a good job in showing how important it is to trust Him because He is there for us at all times. You found both Lucie and yourself again.