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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cup - 10-25-12 Deadline (10/18/12)

TITLE: Rachel And The Gentle Savior.
By Olawale Ogunsola


A voice was heard in her apartment,
Lamentation, weeping and great wailing,
Rachel weeping for her losses,
Refusing to be comforted,
Because they are irreparable.

No one knew it was a serious matter. People thought that she was singing a track from a new album, as it was her custom to rise early in the morning to worship and praise the Lord, as a devout Christian, when they were hearing,
"Lord, p-l-e-a-s-e! I did not know!" repeatedly.

By break of day, the nearest neighbour came to visit her but the door was closed. She did not come out even by midmorning. Leah came again. She knocked at the door but no one paid attention. She applied a little force and the door was opened. Rachel forgot to lock the door firmly overnight. The living room door was wide open. She was wailing and rolling on the floor.

Leah asked her many questions to which no answer was provided.
She continued weeping as if there was an International Weeping Competition where she must win a gold medal. When Leah's effort proved abortive, she decided to contact Pastor Tayo who was Rachel's assembly Pastor. Without delay, he came and led the mourner to his church office to inquire about what had happened.

In the office, Pastor Tayo asked,
"What is the matter? What really happened? Sister Rachel, please tell me."
She answered, tears mixing again with saliva and nose fluid,
"Pastor, I did not know!"
"You did not know what?", Pastor Tayo asked.
"About two months ago, a lame man came to my small shop one afternoon as I was drinking a cold soft drink on that hot sunny day.
He requested, 'Give me a glass of this drink.'
I scowled at him and promised to hit his bald head with a five feet stick with me if he failed to depart on time. He left.

Almost a month after, a leper called on me one afternoon holding a filthy mug to his chest with the trunk of his left hand. He demanded some drinkable water because of the intensity of the heat. I pretended as if I did not hear. He repeated the request several times but I looked away from him as if I did not hear.

Yesterday, I was in front of my house sitting with a jug of coffee on a stool in front of me. A very dirty madman appeared from God-knows-where to stand before me. I was afraid but he laughed to expose his rotten teeth. He said,
'Please, give me some of your coffee to drink.'

I fearfully stood to get a container to satisfy my unexpected visitor. I presented it in the-next-available container befitting a person of his status. He rejected it saying,
'Can you also drink from a dirty container? Is the one you're using as dirty as the one brought to me?' He hissed like a snake and departed.

Pastor, three months ago, I was fasting and praying about my predicament for three days. On the third day, I saw the Lord in a vision sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. He said to me,
'Rachel, I'll be your guest within the next three months. Prepare to host me.'
I answered, 'Yes sir, my Lord.'

The three months elapsed yesterday and I saw a similar vision again. The Lord said He had visited me three times but I failed to host Him. Therefore, I must wait until He has time again to visit me with the purpose of turning my situation around for the better.

Pastor, help me! My coast needs enlargement! I'm carrying every family burden alone since the demise of my husband three years ago."
She started sobbing and finally said,
"When the Gentle Savior called on me, I did not know that a cup of water, soft drink or coffee will allow Him to pass me by."

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This article has been read 375 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marie Hearty 10/25/12
Great message here. So often we reject those who do not look the way we would like them to look. Jesus told us to give to those in need, but many times we just pass them by. His great lesson is lost to us and what a shame.
Great story.

God Bless!
C D Swanson 10/25/12
Wow! This gripped my heart and brought a tear to my eye. Powerfully executed, layered with meaning beyond the words. And, a prolific conclusion. Excellent work.

God bless~
Phee Paradise 10/25/12
You've given Jesus' admonition about the cup of water a unique telling. I was intrigued by the story, but you included some details that made me wonder about the setting. What was the assembly? What kind of shop did she have? And why were the people asking for a drink so rude about it?

But your message was clear and I shudder to think of being in her position.
Noel Mitaxa 10/26/12
A very powerful rebuke to the kind of prayers that we pray too often,when we expect God to change everything but us. Some of your phrases are slightly awkward - almost formal - but your passion is coming through loud and clear.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/31/12
This is a bit of brilliant story telling. You had an outstanding opener that grabbed my attention and kept me riveted to the very end.

You had quite a few tiny errors. When someone different is speaking, always start a new paragraph. The punctuation goes inside the quotation marks too. If you need help finding a challenge buddy to help you with these little errors, feel free to send me a PM.

Again, I really loved this story and it tugged on my heart. I thought the POV was fresh. There have been many stories about Jesus' cup this week but yours was totally different and one of my favorites.