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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cup - 10-25-12 Deadline (10/18/12)

TITLE: Leana´s Secret
By Adele Threadgold


It was getting late, 5:15 A.M. already, and Leana was still cooped up inside the shed, in the recess of the garden, where no one had been, except her, of course, for a long, long time. She had already been late for school five times this month due to her copious preparations in the morning; she couldn’t afford to be late again. A bad mark against her otherwise spotless report was unimaginable, especially as she was so perfect in her mother´s eyes. But it wasn’t easy to 'keep up with the Jones', so to speak.

So far, she had managed to keep her secret away from her doting mother, but didn’t know how much longer she would be able to; she was getting suspicious. Even the other day, she heard the undertone of dubiousness in her otherwise self-assured voice, when Leana tried to explain why she had yet again missed the swimming class.

How long could she duck out of class with her ‘it´s my time of the month’ excuse before she was forced to come clean? No, no, she could never come clean. That would be horrifying and degrading, as well as humiliating; something she could never put behind her.

Final check then: hair in place-check, nails manicured-check, socks in place-check, make up applied-check, teeth cleaned and polished-check, skirt shortened-check, heels, high – check. Money –sufficient. Phone, oh well, not everything could be perfect, but at least she had one, even if it wasn’t the latest Samsung. She would just have to persuade her mother a bit more aggressively. Threatening to tell her pastor that Mother had taken up drinking again seemed a good idea. Wait, did non-alcoholic cocktails count? Well, they ARE cocktails aren’t they? And they do have that stupid paper umbrella in them. Yeah, they qualified.

In this day and age being a fourteen year old flat-chested girl with a cup size of 0 didn’t make you successful or popular. She couldn’t help it if she had to creep out to the shed at a ridiculously insane hour to make herself look more presentable. She was fortunate enough, so far, that her mother hadn’t really noticed that a few of her 34 C-cups had gone walkabout from her lingerie drawer; she had enough of them; what would a few less matter?

She was so glad that none of her school friends went to her church or youth group – she couldn’t very well turn up there with her socks--her mother would die of shame – never mind her. Her mother always ranted on that she was fearfully and wonderfully made as the Psalmist said in Psalm 139:

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. (Psalm 139:7-8 NIV) "I can go to the shed and you aren’t there," she thought. “If you cared for me, and I am so wonderfully made, why am I flat-chested?” This often made her cry, especially as she had to look pretty for church, but felt so ugly inside.

That Sunday was no different; sitting pretty in pink, the service began. The pastor got up to give the message, "No matter what shape form or size you are–God doesn’t make mistakes. Be happy with who you are; God is! Stop pretending to be who you aren’t; God can see on the inside and outside. The form he gave you is the form he designed especially for you. Get rid of the old excuses the old clothes, the socks, whatever it is that hides the real you from everyone else."

Leana couldn’t have turned a brighter shade of red if she tried. Who had told the pastor her secret? Sinking into her, chair she looked around for the culprit. No one. Flustered, she opened her Bible in the middle and pretended to concentrate, until her eyes fell on the text:

Psalm 139: 1-3 NIV: You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

It was YOU, Lord, you saw me all along. She smiled a bitter-sweet smile. From now on, there would be no more socks and her mother´s 34 C-cup bras would be back in the lingerie drawer where they belonged.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Marie Hearty 10/25/12
A very nice story to remind us how God is always keeping an eye on us, and how he designed us to look exactly the way we are. With bullying so prevalent these days, this story could make all the difference to a teenager struggling to love his/her appearance despite what others say. Good job.

God bless!
C D Swanson 10/25/12
This was a critical account of what goes on today, and it truly will reach out to many...Excellent job with the entry, and a meaningful message. Thank you for such a touching story.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/31/12
This is a cute story and had me chuckling throughout. I, too, initially thought of doing a bra story. I think it's a touch of genius and an out of the box idea on the topic. (Great minds think alike)

One thing that would make this story even better would be to do more showing and less telling. That is something every writer struggles with. A good example would be in your opening paragraph if you switched it around just a bit it would paint a picture for the reader. Something like this: As the sun began to peek out over the horizon, Leana crouched down in the shed. The layers of dust and cobwebs proved that no one but she had been out here for a long time.
Not that my sentence is better, but I wanted to give you an example of what I mean by doing more showing instead of telling. Hopefully this paints a picture for the reader.

You did a great job of building the suspense while giving little clues of the mystery but saving the reveal for the right moment. You also did a grand job of getting inside a teen's head. I'm sure I'm not the only one who can relate with your MC. Great idea and you did a nice job with it.
C. Roxanna Tineo11/01/12
I enjoyed reading your entry. You did a good job getting inside Leana's head and expressing her feelings.