Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Blessed (10/11/12)

TITLE: What More Could I Ask?
By LaRue Kendrick
10/17/12


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

What More Could I Ask?

The phone rang. She answered on the third ring and heard the voice of her oldest granddaughter who was a freshman at the state university. “Hi, Grams. This is Becky.”

“Yes, Becky. I would know your voice anywhere, and it’s so very nice to hear it. How are you doing?”

“Mostly I’m fine, but I do have a really hard test this afternoon at 2:00. Would you please pray for me? I need all the help I can get.”

“Of course, dear. I will start praying now and just keep on until this evening. I will pray that God will help you do your very best and to help you think clearly.”

“That’s what I need for sure. Thanks, Gram. I’ll call you tonight and let you know how it went. Thank you so much. I cherish your prayers.”

“Very well. You certainly have them – always. I’ll look forward to your call this evening.”


She was just taking cinnamon rolls out of her oven when she heard the sound of a motorcycle in her yard. She looked out the window to see her son getting off of his four-wheeler. She met him at the door with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face. “I think you must have smelled the cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven!”

“I really didn’t, but my timing is pretty good I’d say!” He walked to the refrigerator and retrieved a pitcher of cold ice tea. “This would go pretty good with one of them if you can spare one.”

“I imagine I won’t miss one…or two…or three. They are hot, though. Don’t burn your tongue. What are you up to this fine day?”

“I just turned a head of water down on the hay, and I’m waiting for it to get there so I can start the tubes. That hay ground is pretty dry. It is looking for a good drink of water. Hopefully, I can get the water to run clear through so everything gets wet.”

“I hope you can too. Your dad had a bit of trouble with that field too when it was real dry. I know you have had plenty of experience with it and will get the water through eventually.”


Another phone call caused her to set aside her iron to answer. The voice on the other end was her dearest friend. “Hello, Anna. How is your day going?”

“I’m having a nice day, Mary. I’ve gotten to talk with Becky and Alan stopped in to have a roll and cold drink with me. That’s a good start on any day. How is your day going?”

“It’s going just fine. I was wondering if I could interest you in going with me to breakfast tomorrow morning. We haven’t done that for a while. Maybe Dorothy can join us too and make it a threesome.”

“I’d like that very much. What time would you want to meet and where?”

“I’ll just drive by and pick you up at about 7:30. Then we can visit on the way there and back too. I want to hear all about Becky.”

“I’ll be ready and will look forward to some time together.”

True to her word, Becky called in the evening saying that her test had gone okay. It was hard, but she felt like she knew what it was about and thought she had done pretty well, thanks to Gram’s prayers.


Before climbing into bed, she read her Bible to put her mind at rest for a good night’s sleep and poured out her thankful heart to the Lord. “My dear Lord, thank you for helping our Becky with a difficult test. Thank you for a son who stops in to visit and share his life with mine. And thank you as well for dear friends that are a garden of beautiful blossoms in my life. You are so very good to me, and I thank you with all my heart for family, friends, faith and above all – your faithfulness to me. I am yours, and You are mine. Praise be to God.” Soon she was snuggled under her covers and fast asleep, dreaming of pancakes and hash browns.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 142 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Colin Swann10/19/12
I really like this devotional family story. An enjoyable read! Thank you!

Colin (Gold Member)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/19/12
This is a sweet story about a day in the life of your MC. It is full of God's blessings and I like that she recognizes them.

Just some tiny red ink. I didn't know the name of your MC until nearly the end when the friend mentioned it. Partly due to that many of your sentences started with she or I. Someone told me once that my paragraphs all began with a name or a pronoun. I could hardly believe it until I checked and discovered that not every paragraph but almost every sentence began that way! That's when I first started focusing on changing up the sentence structure. For example this sentence: She was just taking cinnamon rolls out of her oven when she heard the sound of a motorcycle in her yard.
could be arranged just a bit: While taking cinnamon rolls out of the oven, she whirled around when she heard the rumbling of her son's motorcycle.
Not only does it switch up the structure it also paints more of a picture with the active verbs: twirled and rumbled.

You definitely nailed the topic. I enjoyed hearing her blessings of the day and it reminds me of my blessings today as I was feeling a bit down before but your story really lifted my spirits. If this is based on a true story, it will be treasured by family for generations on end. You also did a great job of bringing the story full circle. I especially liked that you included the prayer in the story. I have no doubt that Jesus will use these words to show someone who doesn't know how to pray that it is like talking to a dear friend. Keep writing those stories that God gives you. Together you will make the difference in people's lives. Good job.
Darleen Coon10/21/12
What an enjoyable read! It reminded me that even on days that I think of as totally routine, there are many blessings. The blessings of family and friends just to name a couple.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/25/12
Congratulations for ranking 7th in level one!