The Official Writing Challenge
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10/11/12
Loved this! Wonderful job with so few words. Powerful, and good message.
Thanks. God Bless~
10/12/12
Good article, great message. One thing I have learned in these several months I have been with Faithwriters is to use my spell check...it finds all kinds of things....I enjoyed this...keep writing!
10/12/12
Excellent message. Thanks for writing this.

God Bless!
I like the scripture you chose for this topic. As humans we try to think like God and are often left a tad befuddled. You really demonstrate that in this short but potent piece.

The one thing I'd encourage you to do is to highlight the retelling of the story with more of your own words. Paint the reader a picture. Also the first sentence is quite long esp for a story under 750 words. By breaking it down with some showing, you'll be more likely to grab the reader's attention immediately. For example something like this: "Who would it be?" A chill ran down Samuel's back as he speculated which one of Jesse's son would become the anointed one.
That is just a quick example to show you what I mean.

I also liked how you wrapped up the ending from a quote from the New Testament. It's always exciting to see one part of the Bible hold up an entirely different section. You managed to hit on the topic funny--not in the funny ha, ha (though I'm sure some of David's brothers snickered when David was brought in) but also in the funny strange way. I do wish you had gone into more detail and sprinkle the story with some more of your words because I found this quite intriguing and wanted to read on. Nice job.


10/17/12
Interesting story.

You have long, run on, sentences. This makes reading a story hard on the eyes and to comprehend. A suggestion I offer is to cut your lengthy wording into smaller chunks. It offers more opportunities, not just for comprehension or readability, but also for more creative wording.

Keep writing.