Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Funny (10/04/12)
TITLE: The Ruin of a Chattering Fool
By Michele Fleming
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“What?” Emma asked her excited friend.
“An invitation to Beth’s wedding!” Leslie handed Emma the missive and flopped down on an overstuffed beanbag. “I told you she would send us one.”
“She just wants to rub her good fortune in our faces.” Emma scowled as she tossed the fancy invite onto the coffee table.
During college, Beth was president of Kappa Kappa Gamma and the bane of Emma’s existence. She acted like royalty and considered everyone in the sorority her humble servants. As vice president, Emma took the most abuse.
Since their graduation six months ago, Emma learned Beth had landed herself William Xavier Thompson III. William the sole heir to the Thompson millions, had lived the life of one of Birmingham’s elite. How he managed saddle himself with Beth Turner, queen of Po-dunk, Mississippi, was a complete mystery.
“Maybe so, but we at least have to go and to her bachelorette party.”
“What . . . no, absolutely not!” Emma didn’t want to go to Beth’s fancy-pants wedding much less her bachelorette party.
“Please! It’s going to be at that new bistro down town. You’ve wanted to try it anyway.”
After a little more begging from Leslie, Emma finally agreed to go to the bachelorette party.
In the days leading up to the event, Emma reflected on the way Beth had come to the university looking like plain white trash. However, she quickly transformed herself into a debutant. She was so convincing in her act that no one, except Emma and Leslie, her first roommates had ever known the truth. The popularity quickly went to her head, destroying any speck of decency she had ever possessed.
They arrived at the bistro as the party was beginning, slipped around the outside of the crowd to a quiet corner table and had a seat. Emma secretly hoped they would be able to remain unnoticed, but no such luck.
“Emma! Leslie! I am so happy you came!” Beth shouted over the crowd and began making her way to their table. After the customary air-kisses for all, she pulled out a chair and made herself at home.
As she gushed about how wonderful her life was, the waiter came by and placed a tray of hors d'oeuvres on the table. Continuing her deluge of information, she absently reached for one of the puffy treats.
“Uh, Beth . . .,” Emma said as she held up her hand in attempt to stop her.
“Don’t interrupt, dear.” Beth said as flashed a fake smile in Emma’s direction.
“Well, alright then.” Emma thought as she relaxed back into her seat. Emma watched as Beth downed puff after puff, knowing full she had no clue what she was swallowing.
Beth reached for another and realized the tray was empty. Embarrassment spread over her face like a crimson flood and Emma couldn’t help but smirk.
“Did you enjoy the crab puffs?” Emma asked and watched as the embarrassment quickly turned to horror.
“Th . . . th . . . the what?” Beth stuttered and reached to rub the end of her nose with the back of her hand.
“I tried to stop you, Beth.” Emma reminded her now ballooning friend.
As the scratching increased, followed by hacking, Beth quickly retrieved a mirror from her purse. She flipped it open and peered into it, what looked back at her caused her to scream.
Beth now resembled one of those grotesque caricatures you see in all those political cartoons.
“What am I going to do? The wedding is . . . (hack, hack) . . . tomorrow!” Beth then scrambled up from the table and took off running for the restroom.
The looks of shock on the faces she passed along the way were invaluable. As the bathroom door slammed shut, snickers spread through the room.
“I can’t believe that just happened.” Leslie who had been stunned speechless by the whole event, finally found her voice. “Should we go check on her?”
“No she will be fine, it’s happened before. Her face will just look like a misshapen tomato for a couple of days.”
Leslie and Emma exchanged amused looks and then each fought against a torrent of laughter.
Leslie was the first to brave speech. “Talk about your blushing bride.”
With that, the floodgates opened.
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