The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/11/12
Interesting entry, and a good message at the end. Nicely done. Thanks.
God Bless~
10/12/12
Delightful story...God does work in mysterious ways...thank you...keep writing!
10/12/12
Good story. You did a good job with the characters and you had me wondering why Timothy was hiding... it was a total surprise at the end. I look forward to reading more from you.

God Bless!
This is a delightful tale. You did a great job of developing the characters. I also enjoyed the suspense and you did a nice job of building on it and keeping the mystery going.

One thing I would suggest is to use more narrative lines than taglines such as he said. For example in this sentence:
chirped Belle, tapping her long slim fingers on the table. She appeared a little bored over this conversation. You really don't need the chirped Belle. I'd write it like this Belle tapped her fingers on the table and yawned. That way you are showing the readers who is talking as well as showing them she is bored so you don't need to tell the reader that last part. Also if you do use taglines make sure you put quotation marks around all parts that are dialog but not around the tagline. For example. "I'm hungry," said Tim. "Is there anything to eat?"

I think you did a wonderful job of writing on topic. You covered it in more than just one way which I always think is a clever thing to do. I'm sure people referred to Timothy as odd or funny. Then you covered it again with him in the bushes. Then once more as we begin to see God's hand in this. He does work in mysterious or funny ways. I think you did a nice job of bringing the story full circle too. Your message is one we all need reminding of from time to time. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.
Hi, I really liked your story: short and sweet and to the point. Gave me a warm feeling inside.
10/17/12
We never know the people around us may be angels in disguise. That's the message I sensed after reading your entry.

Nice story. Keep up the good work.