The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/11/12
Entertaining and on topic. I enjoyed it so much. Thanks.
God bless~
10/11/12
Good Story..might want to make smaller paragraphs to make it read a little better, but I see a lot of potential here. Keep Writing!
10/12/12
I liked this a lot. A good story with a good message. Keep up the good work.

God bless!
I enjoyed getting to know Kevin and think he is quite the likable young chap. You did a nice job of developing the character.

What I might suggest you work on is too do more showing and less telling. It's something every writer struggles with and is constantly perfecting. For example this line is telling: Some things are funny, and some things aren't. Instead start off with more of an attention grabber that paints a picture for the reader. Perhaps something like this: Kevin bolted upright and immediately started surveying his room. Something had jarred him from his sleep.
Though that may not be a perfect example it introduces the MC (main character) and the setting all while painting a picture for the reader.

I really enjoyed the back story about how Kevin became fascinated with pumpkins. I smiled at the phrase thick-skinned and thought it was a clever word play as pumpkins also have a thick skin. You did a nice job of showing the reader how important it is to be true to the person that God made us to be. There is so much about bullying and teasing in the news. I think you did a nice job of tackling that matter without coming off as preachy. Keep writing those stories that God puts on your heart. You never know how and when God will use your words to make an impact on others Nice job!
10/13/12
Perfect ending to a great story! KOW!(Keep On Writing)
10/17/12
This is a very engaging and entertaining story. Nice writing. Keep it up!
10/19/12
Congrats and God Bless~