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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Funny (10/04/12)

TITLE: Not So Funny At All
By Barbara Miller
10/07/12


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Some things are funny, and some things aren't. This is a story of something you might think to be funny, but really is not funny at all. It all started on a foggy fall morning in Orville. The hamsters in Kevin's room had already shredded their days' worth of toilet paper and were working on their breakfast of multicolored nuggets. Orville is not a big town, but it has its share of big events that the town's people look forward to every year. One of these events is the annual Pumpkin Festival. For whatever reason, this morning the pumpkin shaped alarm clock next to Kevin's bed not only didn't ring for the daily morning wake up time; it apparently had made its last tick at around 11:46 pm. Not a good time for this timepiece to bite the dust. Kevin needed that early morning start on his entry for the pumpkin pie contest. His pie had to be perfect, it had to be fresh, and it had to be on the judges table by 11:30 am. If it wasn't for Lulu and Ollie getting into a throw down scrapping fight over who knows what, Kevin wouldn't have woken up at all. "Ah, no!" Kevin screamed as his eyes focused in on the dead clock. All he could do was throw on his clothes from the day before and rush downstairs to get the oven heating up for pie time. There was no time for a shower or even to brush his teeth. Just so as not to ruin his chances of offending the judges with morning breath, he grabbed the bag of peppermints from his mother's secret stash behind the sewing machine and stuffed them into his pocket. "Of all days for her to leave so early," Kevin thought to himself. But Mrs. Agnew came down with a gall bladder attack the night before and someone had to teach the Momma's Little Mermaids swim class down at the community center.

You might think that entering a pumpkin pie contest is a bit odd for a thirteen year old boy. But Kevin is not your ordinary boy. He knew what he wanted in life, and football or brutal video games did not make his list of what he considered fun. His infatuation for anything pumpkin seemed to have started one Halloween when he was just four years old. The streets were full of kids in costume filling their pillow cases or plastic pumpkins with candy. But when Kevin came home, he dumped out all of his candy into the bathroom sink and slept with his empty plastic pumpkin positioned on a pillow at the foot of his bed. Up until that day anything pumpkin that was to have crossed his lips, would have been immediately spewed out with a spit and a grunt. So when Kevin came down the next morning and announced that he wanted pumpkin pie for dessert that night; jaws dropped and the room went silent. "Okay, I'll make one today" said Kevin's mom as she watched her son react in delight with a grin from ear to ear.

Over the years Kevin took an interest in everything pumpkin and excelled in his projects from growing the largest one to perfecting a pumpkin pie recipe that was the envy of the town's reigning pie queen Ms. Metzgar. To this day his love for anything pumpkin is a mystery, but for some reason that hard orange vegetable brings joy to that young man, and because some think it's funny, it has also brought a thick skin to that same boy because he refuses to let others rob him of his passion.

If you're wondering what happened with the pie contest; that morning Kevin managed to whip together the world's best ever pumpkin pie and won by a landslide of accolades. The news of his winning pie spread across the land from one blog to another and finally reached the attention of the Libby's canned pumpkin company. They bought that pie recipe from him and with that, Kevin started a nest egg for his dream of opening a pie house at the edge of town. Nobody thinks he's funny now.


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This article has been read 199 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 10/11/12
Entertaining and on topic. I enjoyed it so much. Thanks.
God bless~
lynn gipson 10/11/12
Good Story..might want to make smaller paragraphs to make it read a little better, but I see a lot of potential here. Keep Writing!
Marie Hearty 10/12/12
I liked this a lot. A good story with a good message. Keep up the good work.

God bless!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/13/12
I enjoyed getting to know Kevin and think he is quite the likable young chap. You did a nice job of developing the character.

What I might suggest you work on is too do more showing and less telling. It's something every writer struggles with and is constantly perfecting. For example this line is telling: Some things are funny, and some things aren't. Instead start off with more of an attention grabber that paints a picture for the reader. Perhaps something like this: Kevin bolted upright and immediately started surveying his room. Something had jarred him from his sleep.
Though that may not be a perfect example it introduces the MC (main character) and the setting all while painting a picture for the reader.

I really enjoyed the back story about how Kevin became fascinated with pumpkins. I smiled at the phrase thick-skinned and thought it was a clever word play as pumpkins also have a thick skin. You did a nice job of showing the reader how important it is to be true to the person that God made us to be. There is so much about bullying and teasing in the news. I think you did a nice job of tackling that matter without coming off as preachy. Keep writing those stories that God puts on your heart. You never know how and when God will use your words to make an impact on others Nice job!
Bryce Baker10/13/12
Perfect ending to a great story! KOW!(Keep On Writing)
Judy Sauer 10/17/12
This is a very engaging and entertaining story. Nice writing. Keep it up!
CD Swanson 10/19/12
Congrats and God Bless~