The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/31/12
Awwwwww. This touched me and made my heart smile. I love sweet stories, they do my soul good. Thanks.

God bless~
I so loved this story. Children's stories are one of my favorites and you did a nice job with this. You had a conflict right away- sneaking around or surprising Mommy. You did a nice job of building the suspense too.

I did notice a typo it's instead of its. But that's no biggie. The only other thing I might have suggested would be for the little girl to come clean about taking the lipstick.I know your way is more realistic, but it's important in a children's story for the child to resolve the conflict while subtly teaching the reader a lesson.

Overall, I think you did a grand job with this. You had all of the right elements- dialog, showing, conflict, resolution and you wrapped it all up in a great read. You also managed to slip in the topic and covered it in a fresh way, using both meanings of the word sweet. I truly enjoyed this one.
09/04/12
This was such a sweet story with the little girl making something special for her mother. Not that I was a sweet child, but it sounds like something I would have enjoyed doing myself. I don't see much I would suggest you change in this. I got involved in the story and if there were changes to be made, I didn't see them particularly. Good job!
09/09/12
Congrats. God bless~