The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/01/05
The abcb rhyme scheme works, but the beat of each stanza is difficult. I like the story in the poem, work on the prosody and you have a great offering.
11/02/05
I agree with Dub--work on the rhythm. It's a charming poem about a sweet, sweet subject.
11/03/05
I liked this sweet comparison. There was a few spots that missed a beat, but nothing that can't be remedied easily. Nice work! God bless ya, littlelight
I love this poem. The sweetness of the newborn is well portrayed and the comparison before we become newborns in Christ is effective.
11/05/05
Very very nice! watching my two little ones while I'm reading this makes it even nicer :)