The Official Writing Challenge
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08/16/12
Nice job of with the topic, and congratulations to all (if this is a true story)

Well written and very touching. Nice accomplishment. God Bless~
08/16/12
Oh, I was SO cheering by the end, hoping the MC (you?) made her goal. Thanks for the smile - your testimony brought me joy.
08/16/12
Nice take on the topic, though it might (in my opinion) better fit the Diet theme. Nevertheless, it's a good read as well as an encouraging story.
This is an exciting story. I found myself rooting for the MC. I even crossed my fingers.

Some tiny red ink--in the beginning you started with past tense, then switched to present. Also you should write out numbers less than ten and really less than one hundred. Also don't ever start a sentence with a number.

I enjoyed your characters. They felt quite real. Losing weight is not easy to do. I smiled at the irony of having a big banquet to celebrate the end of a diet. You did a nice job from beginning to end.
08/18/12
What an exciting accomplishment and inspiring story. I too go to Vision Quest and have for over a year. I haven't joined the Biggest Loser, but have friends that did and have done remarkably well. I noticed in your very first paragraph that you were changed tenses. This was truly a most enjoyable story of accomplishment not only in the weight loss area, but emotionally and spiritually. Nicely done.
08/19/12
Well done. You expressed well the emotional aspects of efforts to lose weight. A suggestion: check tenses to keep them consistent throughout and spelling (led not lead).