The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/09/12
Since this is written in the first-person, I am going to presume it is of your life. Your early dad certainly did have an impact on your life; you sound like you were one determined young lady and went above and beyond what he may have expected of you. But later, when you began to realize our Heavenly Father is really the one we need to listen to, you walked through your life with his guidance and that decision changed not only your life, but I'm sure the lives of your children. Very nicely written.
08/10/12
You have had a journey of self-discovery and growth and it was so well told in this loving entry. I believe it held an "authentic tone" that resonated throughout, so I am going to assume, for now that this is a true story.

I felt the MC's emotions that spoke volumes in actions, and words. I loved the conclusion of "finding peace through our Father in heaven. The one and only who is unconditional in all of which we are and do.

Excellent job. Thank you for sharing this poignant story with a prolific message.

God bless~
08/13/12
four years ago I was twenty pounds overweight. then I got sick and became a walking skeleton. I am gaining it back now and would take the twenty extra lbs any day! I think this is very good writing and an excellent message.
Keep it up!
This is a powerful testimonial. My heart hurt for the little one trying so hard to please her father.

Make sure you use apostrophes for possessive phrases like man's heart. A challenge buddy would help you catch those little errors. Check the message boards for critique groups or you can PM if you'd like.

You covered the topic and really made some powerful thought-provoking statements. I enjoyed reading this and my heart went out to the MC.