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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fragrance (10/24/05)

TITLE: The Smells of summer
By Donnie Vaughan


The Smells of summer

We had started working on changing the water from one of
Our small fish pools, We had to do this every so many days.
My wife had not been sick for a long time and we all thought that
She was doing very well. Some time about noon she had begun to have some problems standing upright and it wasn’t long before she could not speak.

When she was sixteen she had a large tumor on the right side of her head,
And she was operated on at one of our states largest hospital. And that was almost thirty three years ago. The way she was her actions showed we all were afraid that she was having a stroke. By the time she had arrived to the hospital she had lost her speech and her whole right side had gone numb, we were there in the exam room for several hours
Before the neurologist came in. after about twenty minutes he raised his head and told us she was having a typical seizure and that he would like to keep her over night in the hospital. It has been a few years and she has been on medication for seizures and checked
Every six months for any changes.

It has been several years now since she has been able to go outside and do anything around the yard. Through all this time she said that the worst part of it all was that she could not get to smell the flowers, for she remembered the fragrance of them all and she could not wait until she was able to get back to her yard work, for the smells of summer were so dear to her heart.

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This article has been read 446 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W11/01/05
This is like an open letter. View your submission in the preview frame before submitting. Thanks for posting.
Michelle Fout11/01/05
hey, this experience has a lot of possiblities. Use this submission as an outline and add anything else you want to say you have plenty of word limit room. Give us a little more of your wife's love for flowers so we can sympathize with her lost time. Organize it into good chronological order. You could begin with the day your wife had her seizure then while you are waiting at the hospital for the diagnosis, flash the reader back to when she was young and had a tumor. Make us sit there nervously with you.
This has all the makings of a good story. Get some dialogue in between you and the doc. even if it is just, when can she come home.
Would love to see this submitted again in regular article critique circle.
God Bless and keep writing!
Jan Ackerson 11/02/05
I'd love to see this expanded, and written as a story. It's very moving.
Nina Phillips11/03/05
I think the story could be expanded in a way that it shows or teaches hope we have in Christ with a few nudges. I feel sadness, and longing, but realize that there is hope also. (That's my thoughts of course) Thank you for sharing, God bless you! littlelight