The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
11/01/05
This is like an open letter. View your submission in the preview frame before submitting. Thanks for posting.
11/01/05
hey, this experience has a lot of possiblities. Use this submission as an outline and add anything else you want to say you have plenty of word limit room. Give us a little more of your wife's love for flowers so we can sympathize with her lost time. Organize it into good chronological order. You could begin with the day your wife had her seizure then while you are waiting at the hospital for the diagnosis, flash the reader back to when she was young and had a tumor. Make us sit there nervously with you.
This has all the makings of a good story. Get some dialogue in between you and the doc. even if it is just, when can she come home.
Would love to see this submitted again in regular article critique circle.
God Bless and keep writing!
11/02/05
I'd love to see this expanded, and written as a story. It's very moving.
11/03/05
I think the story could be expanded in a way that it shows or teaches hope we have in Christ with a few nudges. I feel sadness, and longing, but realize that there is hope also. (That's my thoughts of course) Thank you for sharing, God bless you! littlelight