The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 363 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/04/12
What a great message in this. Heaven is where it's at. I like how you put it into a story, incorporating the idea that there's no meat in heaven. Some savory things to think about...
08/05/12
An all together lovely and touching story filled with a profound message. I enjoyed it, especially about "no killing" of animals! Loved it..Thanks.

God bless~
08/05/12
An all together lovely and touching story filled with a profound message. I enjoyed it, especially about "no killing" of animals! Loved it..Thanks.

God bless~
This is a great story. The opening is an attention grabber. I think many can relate to the MC, afraid of the unknown.

The bit of red ink I spotted has to do with quotation marks. When you get to end of paragraph and the same person is speaking then there is not an end quote. You do put a quote at the beginning of the next paragraph to show it's the same person, but no end quote until the character is done speaking.

I think you did a great job of staying on topic while still delivering an important message. I think this is a clever and original story. I enjoyed from beginning to end.