The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/27/12
Touching, sweet and grabbed my heart. Thank you for this story that resonated truth throughout. We need to be more aware of others as we go through the day. Thank you for this.

God bless~
07/29/12
Your story was right on target with the topic of the week. It showed love, needs and a resolution for those needs when Bella invited the lady and her son to the potluck. I did find that the story's ending seemed abrupt even though you had ample word count to work with. I liked the reference to Scripture at the beginning of your entry. Nicely done.
This is a nice story. It makes me think how one time, someone needy came to church asking for help and one of the Sunday School teachers shooed him out. But my son's teacher wasn't going to be a bad example for his students so he ran after the man and helped him. It turned out later the man sent the helpful teacher a check for double thee money he loaned him. It's so important to have a Bella state of mind.

The one thing I might suggest would be to not mention the dinner at first. Instead show Jeremy and his mom approaching the church. Because the way you had it with talks of preparation for the dinner I thought the Mom was coming to church for the dinner not just for looking for help.

You did a nice job of covering the topic in a fresh and different way. I think things like this are so important. It's easy to get caught up in our own worries and forget that there are hungry children right in our own neighborhood. Nice job.