The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/26/12
Your entry had a little of a lot of things. First, it covered the topic at hand, secondly it spoke of a little girl so very concerned about her mother's drinking... not condemning her, but praying for her, and lastly how she had come to know Jesus and lived for him many, many years prior to her passing. You touched my heart in this story. I grew up with an alcoholic father, but I didn't know Jesus as a young girl. Later in life, my dad accepted Jesus with the help of my brother-in-law who was a pastor at the time. The only thing I would recommend for this entry would be to watch your quote marks. I thoroughly enjoyed this entry.
07/27/12
A beautiful journal of life and how it changes with Jesus in it. The torment children and/or spouses feel with an alcholic is devastating, overwhelming, and damaging.

I've had a friend who was affected by this...but her life was given to the Lord Jesus Christ and she was changed inside out. So Amen. He heals and saves.

Good job...Excellent entry.
Thanks for the story and message. God Bless~
07/29/12
Absolutely awesome! I know first hand the miracles of Jesus and you just reinforceed my already strong faith. God Bless You for writing this, it was wonderful!
07/29/12
Absolutely awesome! I know first hand the miracles of Jesus and you just reinforceed my already strong faith. God Bless You for writing this, it was wonderful!
I really think you did a great job on this tear-jerker of a story. I could clearly hear the voice of a young teen girl who had to grow up too soon.

Instead of using taglines like she said wearily. Describe what she looked like. Something like She sighed heavily and her shoulders drooped. It helps the reader get to know your characters.

I think you covered the topic but still kept the story meaningful and interesting. You introduced a few conflicts that many people can relate to and that all helps draw the reader in.