The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/20/12
I really enjoyed this delightful piece. You just know instantly that a mother who names her kids after the seasons has to be a tad wacky.

You have a few technical errors that having a challenge buddy or critique group would help. When you use a quote, capitalize the first word, except when you put a tagline in the middle. Review some of the punctuation rules too. On the message boards, Jan's Writing Basics, gives a great review of the rules.

I really enjoyed the singing and dancing that happened during this jam session. Those little moments are the ones the kids will remember. Today some parents spend tons of money trying to create special moments but you showed that just having fun is what matters most. Good job.
07/20/12
I am moving around to the beat in my seat! LoL. I loved this adorable entry that was a sheer delight to read. It was on topic and held my attention while making me smile. Thank you.

God bless~
07/20/12
A delightful story. I don't remember my mother or my sisters and I having that much fun in the kitchen. Your story made me wish for a do over as I smiled all the way through. Thank you.
07/22/12
This was definitely a joy to read; however, I was slowed down by either a word missing or other technical issues that surfaced. It is so important to have your entry with as few errors as possible when you click that "submit" button. That said, so far, your entry is one of the cutest I've seen about "in the kitchen." The time spent with your daughters is so heart-warming and is forming those precious memories all of us need to have and hold on to. A very good story!
07/22/12
This was definitely a joy to read; however, I was slowed down by either a word missing or other technical issues that surfaced. It is so important to have your entry with as few errors as possible when you click that "submit" button. That said, so far, your entry is one of the cutest I've seen about "in the kitchen." The time spent with your daughters is so heart-warming and is forming those precious memories all of us need to have and hold on to. A very good story!
08/02/12
This one reminds me of my sisters and mom in the kitchen. We always sang as we worked or cooked together. I miss those days. Cute snapshot of their lives!

I've been learning from my writing mentors that every single scene should have some sort of conflict going on, either between characters or internally, or with nature... etc. This is missing that, hence it being more of a snapshot rather than a story with action and conflict. However, I still enjoyed it!