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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: In The Kitchen - deadline 7-19-12 @ 9:59 AM NY Time (07/12/12)

TITLE: Maggie’s Blessed Mess
By Ken Ebright
07/17/12


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June walked into the kitchen. "Hey Maggie, come here."

Clump clump clump went eight year old Maggie as she ran into the room. "Yes, mommy."

June turned on the oven. "How would you like to help me bake a cake?"

Maggie clapped and jumped up and down. June got out the cooking utensils, and the ingredients, and emptied the cake mix into the bowl. She lifted her daughter on a chair next to the counter, and moved the carton of eggs, and the measuring cup next to Maggie

"Maggie, I need you to crack three eggs and put them into the bowl."

Maggie cracked one egg and threw the whole shell into the cup.

June laughed, "Honey, you not suppose to drop the shell into the cup."
Maggie's face turned into frown. "Sorry Mommy."

Mom used a spoon to get the shells out and did the second egg. Maggie was able to do the third egg by herself.

Mom put the mixer into the bowl and beat ingredients together "Maggie, I was thinking about the broken egg. It reminds me how Jesus was broken when he died on the cross for our sins."

Maggie hovered over the bowl watching. "What are sins?"

June stopped mixing and poured the batter into the pan. "You sin when you do something wrong. Like not obeying your Mommy and Daddy."

June put the cake into the oven and got out the powdered sugar and a cup of water and mixed them in the bowl. Mom stepped away for a second Maggie put both of her hands in the bowl and they were covered with frosting.

"Maggie!" mom's face turned red. "Get your hands out of the frosting. That was supposed to be for the cake!"

June took a rag and cleaned up her daughter and made a new batch. Both of them took a spoon and spread it onto the cake. "We can learn something from the frosting. The color white represents how Jesus made up as clean as snow."

"Wow Mommy."

***************

Later that night at the dinner table dad asked "What did you two do today?"

"We baked a cake and we learned a Bible lesson form it." June took her fork and picked up a piece of the salad and ate it.

Dad sipped on a glass of water. "Maggie what did Mommy teach you?"

Maggie picked up her peas with her spoon. "Well when I cracked the egg I learned that Jesus was broken when he died on the cross."

Dad lifted the rib up to his mouth. "What else did you learn?" Then bit into it.

Maggie drank a glass of water and put the glass down. "The frosting shows that were white as snow."

"That’s cool Maggie; you learned something baking a cake."

"Yes, I did Daddy." Maggie's face glowed.


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This article has been read 307 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Linda Ellis07/19/12
I never thought about teaching the Bible with the simple act of making a cake. Great concept. It reminded me of a Soldier in Iraq who does the same thing with a deck of cards.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/19/12
This is a sweet story. There is something about special mother-daughter time in the kitchen.

You had quite a few errors that a good proofreader would catch for you. At times you capitalized Mom when used as a name and other times didn't. Then when it has a qualifier in front of it like your it should have been lowercase. You used were instead of we are.

Also try to make every sentence vital to the story. Like the sentence -- June picked up her fork... it doesn't really tell the reader anything. We know they are eating dinner already so try to use those spots to give the reader insight into the emotions of the MC perhaps June grinned from ear to ear and looked at her daughter as she spoke. Those would show her state of mind.

I really liked the title it drew me in and made me smile. Your beginning was a nice start to introduce the characters to the reader. You definitely were on topic and you delivered a great message in clear and simple ways for even a child to understand Jesus' sacrifice. Nice job.
lynn gipson 07/20/12
I love this story...teaching about Jesus while baking...it made me feel warm and fuzzy....Great Story!
Camille (C D) Swanson 07/20/12
This spoke to me! It brought some great memories to mind of when I baked with my mom as a little girl. We had some great times...and I especially loved the cakes for Jesus.

Nicely done...and well written as it brought forward a myriad of emotions to the reader. Thanks.

God bless~