Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: In The Kitchen - deadline 7-19-12 @ 9:59 AM NY Time (07/12/12)
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TITLE: Look For Me In Rainbows | Previous Challenge Entry
By Linda Ellis
07/17/12 -
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It had been more expensive than they could comfortably afford, but she was glad she had insisted on the large window over the sink when they remodeled the kitchen. She rarely used the new dishwasher, preferring to wash the dishes by hand. It was a relaxing chore, she said. At the window she could wash dishes and watch her garden grow, while keeping an eye on the children playing under the trees planted to honor family members, now deceased.
Strange how that window had become her favorite place in the kitchen. For her it was a peaceful sanctuary. There she often smiled and seemed to always pray. She hoped she had given her children the most important things to remember, as she knew about her, there was little time. She respected the Doctors, but she'd told the children that God sees even a Sparrow fall, and they should always remember that God would have the last word.
She turned as a small child ran to her side, his heart seeming to break.
"O Mama, O Mama, where is my dream? I can't find it anywhere," he cried.
Curious, she looked down at her young son, "Where have you searched,"she asked.
"I've looked everywhere Mama. Under my pillow and under my bed. I even took all my toys out of the box, and it's just not there."
"Well tell me, was it a good dream that made you smile and laugh?"
"Oh yes Mama! It was the best dream ever. We were running and laughing, and the butterflies were chasing the birds, while the chipmunks played hide-and-seek with the squirrels. You looked so pretty Mama, and you said when winter came we'd make snow cream and play like snow angels. You said in the spring we'd watch the honey bees dancing with the flowers and the wind in the trees. Mama you said when you had to leave I should always look for you in rainbows. But I won't know how without my dream Mama. Oh please help me find it before you go."
She'd thought her sorrow was spent, but now she struggled to blink away the twinkle of tears in her eyes, lest her young son be more worried than he already was.
"Well I happen to know about a very special place where good dreams play hide-and-seek. They hope you'll keep searching to find them. But you must listen and understand what I tell you, since it's a secret place where dreams are kept safe from those who would try to steal them away."
"Please tell me Mama, where is this secret place?"
Knelling to wipe the tears from his eyes, she spoke these final words to her youngest child.
"Search in your heart my son. There you will find your special dream waiting for you. And when you're all grown up with no one to remind you, never forget to guard your heart, and always remember, it's a secret place where all good dreams safely hide, waiting for you to find them."
Strange how peaceful it felt standing at "Mama's window", after all these years. The tree they'd planted for her was full of Magnolia blossoms. And the garden was stunning. Its reflection in the window was like a rainbow of color and light, almost taking your breath away.
He remembered his childhood dream and those last words his Mother had spoken to him before she died that night. He'd often shared the story with his young Leukemia patients, so courageous in their quest to live. Somehow it seemed to give them a light of hope.
He quickly turned at the sound of panic in his young daughter's voice bursting through the door.
"Daddy, Daddy, come quick. We need a Doctor."
Alarmed, he moved swiftly towards the door and his youngest child.
"What happened?"
"A bird fell out of Grandma's tree, Daddy."
With a sigh of relief that the children weren't hurt, he asked,
"What kind of bird is it?"
"It's a Sparrow Daddy."
"Hurry Daddy. Why are you taking so long?"
"Oh I was just remembering something I once heard about secret places and dreams, and rainbows and sparrows, and God having the last word. I'll tell you about it later. For now let's go see how we can help Grandma's Sparrow."
"Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep her, for she is your life." (Prov. 4:13 NKJ)
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You had some tiny errors that a good proofreader would catch for you like knelling instead of kneeling.
The mechanics though are things that can be polished when you have more time. The important thing is the message. I felt the warmth of hope and love as I read. The title may have given the part about Mom dying away a touch soon though you did mention it fairly early. It's a lovely title but for some reason I kept thinking the title was The Kitchen Window. Perhaps because you did a spectacular job of making the window feel like it was a character. That takes some talent. You did a beautiful job with this piece and had a wonderful, refreshing take on the topic.
God bless
Lynn
congrats on 6th place!