The Official Writing Challenge
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You did a good job of description in this article, as wel as inducing emotions in this reader. It would be wonderful to have a Part II to find out what happened the year before, because one is left with a sense that John will have some terrific story to explain why saying "no" was right the year before but he has changed and is about to 1. confess something and 2. Propose again... but, then, I am a hopeless romantic, so maybe not. That's my ending anyway. You have left the reader to make his own conclusions so, why not?
This was well-received by this reader! Very descriptive entry and a good story that stayed on topic. I also enjoyed your ending. I can't remember those things that needed to be checked by you, so I will just say this; it is extremely important to proof your work prior to submitting. In some instances, you have used a word that should have been an "ing" word, you used lakes when it should have been lake's; things that spellcheck will not alert you to. That being said, I still found your work to be very good and I'd say you are well on your way to progressing in the Challenge arena.
Such a good story. I enjoyed reading it.
I particularly enjoyed the word pictures you painted here in your emotionally charged story.
Oh, this is very good.

The ending felt a bit abrupt. Granted, she did run into a person at the end, so I suppose it WAS rather abrupt. ;) It feels like word count may have gotten the best of you and you rushed a bit to the ending.

Loved the story, and would love to hear the why behind the "no."
This is a sweet love story. I liked how the guy didn't give up. It's funny how sometimes in order to protect ourselves we end up hurting ourselves more than protecting.

It looks like you are working on showing vs telling and doing a good job. There are times when you slip into the telling. For example you told the reader that families were enjoying themselves but you had already shown us that so you didn't need to tell too. Even your opening sentence is telling.Something like this might paint more of a picture -- Walking down Main Street, I lifted my head to allow my face to bask in the sun as a gentle breeze tickled my lips into a wide smile.

I noticed a couple of typos like kits instead of kites and at the end on instead of one. A challenge buddy or a critique group would be a great help because your brain knows what you mean so it's hard to see it.

You do have some great showing scenes though. It's hard to get everything in with such a limited word count.You may want to build the conflict more. Perhaps instead of the great descriptive scenes in the beginning you could have started out with the conflict by having her heart ache as she walked to the park because she pictured by this point in her life she would be spending the day with John. It probably sounds like I'm contradicting myself but when you only have 750 words it's vital that every word is essential to the story. So now that you have a grasp of showing verses telling work on developing the conflict in that way.

You did a nice job of showing how she battled with herself over the handsome man. I'd love to see even more of that. The story is right on topic and I felt like I was right there with the MC. I really liked the ending too. There is hope but there is also a chance that she might run and hide again. I think it takes a talent to be able to write a story so that it fills the needs of several different people. You did that with the different messages in this story. One is to enjoy each day God gives us while another message is to use the good judgment he gave us as well. Another person will read it and hear take a chance on love God is protecting you. These are all great messages for different people at different points in life.
Nice job in this descriptive piece. Emotions and thought provoking moments only enhanced an already interesting story. Thanks. I really liked it. God Bless~
Excellent story! Definitely on topic in regards to guarding your heart. Very descriptive with wonderful beginning and end. The piece flowed wonderfully, and the ending was wonderful in leaving the reader with a pleasant ..."huh?!" I left with a smile! God Bless!
Oh, this is bursting with potential stories to continue with, from the perspective of your MC and how she came to be hurt so terribly, and how she allows God to bring her through. And that's just one of so many different themes that could be developed (I'm not a novelist so I can't really expand any further, only to say I would read such a book!).

I won't rehash what the others have already said regarding typos, etc, but will definitely encourage you to find a challenge buddy who can help with proof reading, and also to give some pre-submission feedback.

Great job! Blessings, Helen.
My dear Cynthia, what a gripping recollection! That man you saw must have been your contemplative self. Wow! Really enjoyed your storytelling artistry - never mind minor points of failed style. Your memories are now mine, too. Oh, and to think there is more to come from that beautiful mind of yours.